Music, Relationships

Does passion interfere with work

Since the start of my vocal career I have changed bands several times. I started with a small band consisting of me, my boyfriend and one more person. For me and my boyfriend Ted it was fun performing together. We were so excited and made love in restrooms after concerts. But we were young and our couple broke up as well as our band.

Actually I’m a very passionate person and I was always sure that passion towerds a man will help me to do my best on the scene. For me sex and singing have always been closely connected and singing in front of people provokes my desire and excited me. But my story of a romance in a band is not as pleasant as I expected.

When I was much older I was invited to another band and almost immediately i fell in love with a guy playing the drums. It was passion at a first sight. On our first date we ended up making love on the bench in an old park. I felt overwhelming desire towards him and I was really fascinated. He was very handsome and charismatic. We started going out together. At first I was very happy and inspired so my creative activity benefited from our relationship. When I was singing I was thinking of him. It made my soul sing in the sync with me.

Destructive passion

When you are over the moon, it’s very painful to fall down. When you are in love and you are a bit off your trolley, in some moment the ground  starts dropping out from under you. That happened to me, too.My lover turned out to be an easy-rider. Every day there were phone calls and meetings with its-just-a-friend girls. I was literally dying from jealousy. I became really insane. I couldn’t sleep at nights because I didn’t know where he was and what he was doing. I lost five kilograms and started taking strong tranquilizers. And of course it effected my musical career.

I had to come to rehearsals and see him again and listen to his lies and it was unbearable. I wished I didn’t see him again. I started to forget the words of the songs which I had to sing. I became indifferent to my job and didn’t want to sing. This kind of job is very special. It totally depends on your mood. In order to do well you must be excited, full of energy and inspiration. When you are broken down, you just can’t perform. All my thought were about his woman and the words he used to tell me. I was trying to find a way out bust I couldn’t.

This passion almost ruined me and my career. He had some magic influence on me. I couldn’t resist him and couldn’t break this relationship until I realized that it would kill me. I think I made the only right decision i could. I split up with him and left the band. I couldn’t see him every day and sing in his presence. They say far from eye, far from heart. And it’s true. Very soon I got back to normal life and started to enjoy singing again. I had a career break after which I joined another band. Since then I haven’t got it off with anybody from my band. I realized that when it comes to emotions, everything can be too serious. I’m not ready to leave the band in which I’m playing now because of some man. When I come to repetition I want nothing to distract me and nothing to spoil my mood. Love can praise you to the sky and can break you down. That’s why I don’t want to mix love and work anymore. If someday I stole being a singer and start other career, I will still keep to this rule.